British Girl Office Super Powers

Until I lived overseas I never really considered the effect that my nationality had on my behaviour. Believing in individuality and free will, I didn't believe that I was distinctly British in any way. Infact, I never even knew what "being British" involved. But a recent essay that I had to write as part of my Post-Graduate Certificate on project management in cross-cultural teams has forced me to consider how my culture and up-bringing have affected my work-style and mannerisms. In addition, and lucky for you here, I have started to notice very special British-Girl Office Super Powers that I didn't even know I had, and for your pleasure, here they are.

1. Fire-Proof Fingers

This is something that I'm quite sure that only British Girls can do. My fingers have almost no heat-sensitivity. This is from years and years of lifting teabags out of mugs of boiling hot water, from being too lazy to get up and get a spoon. This has now become one of my top office-tricks. Especially as I can squeeze the steaming teabag with my bear fingers so that not a drop of tea is wasted.

2. Light-Free Photosynthesis

British girls don't need light to photosynthesize and turn carbon dioxide into energy and oxygen. It's quite something, and sometimes may have to be seen to be believed, but another thing that no one seems to understand in my workplace is that I can walk into my office (which has no natural lighting) at 8am and can leave at 7:30pm, having never left the building. Everyone else goes out for lunch at restaurants for three courses of brilliance - but my British work mentality makes me happiest with my packed lunch and a quick skip though online newspapers from home and emails to my friends. I know it's not so sociable, but sometimes I don't feel so sociable, not with my face-to-face colleagues, anyway. Before, my behaviour had gone largely un-noticed, but now with no-one taking lunch breaks through Ramadan... people are on to me. I just tell them I'm from the UK; our Vitamin D comes from tablets and our tans come from bottles.

3. Flawless Manners

Learning, understanding and being capable of explaining the offside rule is a special talent of any British Girl. You should develop this skill young, to avoid hours and hours of lads in the pub explaining it to you endlessly "Someone, pass me the salt! We need two more things! have you finished with that glass? Can I borrow it? Right. Are you concentrating?". Seriously, it's not rocket science. I think people pretend not to understand the offside rule because they think it makes them look cute. Please. If Wayne Rooney can understand the offside rule, then by not grasping this concept, you make yourself look like a neanderthal. Obviously, I got it down.This reflects in my professional life, and not only when performing manual tasks and noting the position of other colleagues so that you don't swing a meeting chair into their heads. It transcends to workplace etiquette. It's throughout impolite to loudly close a massive deal that you had no part in negotiating or setting up. The offside rule, is really just good manners.

4. Eloquence
"Ahh, but English is my Mother Tongue..." is one of my favourite catchphrases at work, and although people often dive back into their venacular languages when with co-patriates, the true nuances of the English language are really only understood by Brits, and furthermore British Girls. Take the work "Great" for example. The best thing is that only other British people know the true meaning of Great. When I say "Great" is never positive, "great" can usually be translated as "really? you want me to do that? seriously? well that has wrecked my whole day". Of course, my manager thinks I'm delighted. The weighted sarcasm of the word "Great" for the British can be most strongly felt in the title of our country. And with that, it's time for a musical interlude, only if you like grime (not for you, Nan):

Scorzayee - Great Britain

5. ...And I get all my power from British Music.
So yesterday was Friday and so I was fasting like a Muslim.  Around 5pm is the worst time. You feel so weak and spaced out and you still have almost 3 hours to go. I have a massive conference on Monday, and being an all-hands-on-deck, I'm-the-youngest-in-the-office kinda girl, I don't mind getting my hands dirty and doing a bit of admin-y stuff from time to time. So I was exhausted and dizzy, but I had a stack of stapling to do. I reached for my headphones and put on some Drum & Base, notably, Katy B - Broken Record, and Chase & Status - Time, and wow, I was on fire. I declared loudly that I actually think it's easier to go a day without water than a day without music. Maybe I'll try a day without music... but it sounds like actual hell.