Episode III: Revenge of the Poison

Waking up a victorious half-marathoner on Monday Morning, the fever was back, my body felt terrible and my tummy was so bad. I danced into the office wearing my medal and lapped up all the praise, delicately running to the loo every 15 minutes for ghastly episodes. My manager, who is Tunisian and knows all about the dangers of seafood poisoning, spends the morning nagging me to  "take this food poisoning seriously", but although I felt horrible, it felt worse to slink off on another sickie after you spent your weekend running half marathons.

By 3pm I'm half collapsed all over my desk, so my manager insists that I go straight to the onsite medical centre for some treatment. I find in Tunisian (heavily influenced by French) medicine there is a real tendency to over-prescribe. If I went to a doctors in the UK and said I had diarrhea but I just ran a half-marathon, my doctor would tell me that that was a bit stupid, now rest, eat white bread and drink a load of fluids. So I see a nice French doctor, who prescribes three different drugs: some clay drink-thing to line the intestines, something to correct the pH of the stomach, and something to stop the stomach cramps. I went and got them all from the pharmacy. Came home, took them and went to bed.
I woke up suddenly about 7pm, scratching my head like a crazy person. I was dreaming and my head was just so itchy. I stopped myself, but as I did I began to realise that the back of my neck was also swollen, and covered in lumps. My ears were swollen too, like Shrek ears and I couldn't hear. I panicked. My face didn't feel right. I switched on the light and saw a terrible sight. I have a picture. I can't put it here, it's not my vanity, but I just wouldn't want to make you cry. My poor face. On eye was swollen completely shut and I looked like I had had a stroke. And it was covered in red itchy lumps. I was panicking by now.

 Here's some rash from my tummy for you to enjoy

I called my friend Lucy, who is good at medical French and she calmed me and reassured me that my face would go back to normal. That fact that she was even considering that it wouldn't was freaking me out a little. We went to the La Marsa Clinic, a private hospital near to my house. I managed to quickly warn Lucy about my low blood pressure and tendency to faint before they hooked me up to a drip and as predicted, I fainted. Lucy, who had never seen anyone faint before was quite delighted. The doctor genuinely didn't know what was happening.
 
The swelling in my head and neck started to go down a bit and the itchy rash started to subside. The doctor there gave me another prescription - three more drugs... seriously?

Then I went home and slept for two days.

I'm fine now.

If you had asked me three years ago what my biggest fears in the world were, I would almost have definitely said:

1. Having a blood test
2. Having a drip

I have now done both. In Africa. Sometimes I amaze even myself.

xxx